Christmas gift guide // The five funnest things to get the girl who never grows up. Or your 5-year-old niece.

Christmas gift guide

So. What to get the girl who has everything?!

And by everything I mean twelve dolphin masks, a red fez, a trampoline, and a pair of gladiator pugil sticks. FOR THE LOLZZZZZ. Oh.

Maybe the girl who won’t grow up. Or the 30-year-old going on 13?

AKA buy me an expensive watch and I’ll break it/vomit piña colada on it/drop it down the toilet (after I’ve weed).

Here’s five gift ideas, anyway.

1. Rabbiting on

Keep your onesie. I want a Kigu. With ears and a tail. AND WHAT.

Bunny Kigu, £50, Urban Outfitters

2. 90s Has-been(ie)

I want to keep the 90s vibe GOING STRONG with this peace sign beanie (won’t YOU stay another day?).

Vintage Customised Peace Patch Beanie, £15, Urban Outfitters

3. Keeping it wheel

Leopard print roller skates. NO. I’M. NOT. JOKING.

Moxi Jungle Roller Skates, $199, Urban Outfitters

4. Barking mad

I don’t have a dog. I don’t care. I’ll get one.

Pop Queen Dog Costume, $39, Urban Outfitters

5. She wore blue velvet

WHAT? ITS OUT OF STOCK??? You should have got it sooner. You moron.

Blue suede velvet manicure set, £14, Ciaté

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