I am a MASSIVE Mad Men fan and have been using Christina Hendricks as an excuse to wiggle round the office in skirts two sizes too small and I think we can ALL HAIL the return of the kitten heel. MEOW.
However WTF is up with her constant cleavage? Particularly her choice of frock for the Emmy Awards 2011 – a jewel-encrusted number with a deep V neckline by Johanna Johnson.
Christina: your baps are ginorm. I adore this, I applaud this; I am a woman of ample bosom (my nan still uses that word, and it STILL makes me do a LOL) myself but do I need your funbags LEAPING out of your top and coming OUT AT ME at every paptastic opportunity? Noooooooooooooo. I do not.
Now, I love a good motorboat as much as the next girl but good God girlfriend, LESS is MORE and FFS please stop dressing them up in shiny wrapping paper. As if they aren’t appealing enough to every man (child) on the planet, you’ve now made them look like Christmas presents. JEEZUS woman, heard of a polo-neck?
Joan Holloway is a Monroe-esque style icon, and has given us curvy girls an excuse to nip in that waist and push out that ass again (I used to have similar starry-eyes for Nigella Lawson pre burkini-gate, and even now like to pop on a cheeky mohair sweater and some pearls and lick the shit out of a chocolate mousse. WHAT?) but Christina, Christina *shakes head and wags finger* do me a favour and take a long hard look in the mirror. OR JUST LOOK DOWN. YEP. THERE THEY ARE.
Note: I would like to mention that I would still rather have Christina Hendricks’ tin foiled melons, than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face. Kaythanksbye.
Comments
Fi
Whilst I do SO agree that it’s not a sight to behold at all, I feel bad for her because I do understand that when you have boobs that big (which I do – let’s just say my first name initial and my cup size have A LOT in common) something that looks like a fairly high scoop neck on someone else looks totally porno on you. Also, everyone’s always having a go at her when she covers up, calling her matronly, so I feel like she can’t win. Boobs that big look shit in everything, it’s a fact. Except a bra, and I’m not going to start wearing just that out on a Saturday night.
However, it is totally hurting my eyes and I feel with a slightly higher neckline (not a rollneck, nooo! just a scoop) and a minimiser bra rather than some bloody corset she’d look a lot less offensive. It’s the corset that does it, ultimately – makes them look like neckware.
Fi
PS- you’ve just confirmed my ultimate wedding day fear, which is waking me up regularly in a cold sweat with just less than a year to go – I can’t fit my boobs into a wedding dress without looking porny, particularly as I’m relatively sized everywhere else. Seriously, I’m shitting a brick and trying to raise some money for reduction surgery before I go dress shopping. With all that corsetry, this is what I’ll look like – two fucking Mitchell twins smuggled down my wedding dress! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Fi
*relatively normal* sized. See, I’m so terrified I’m writing total shite.
Amy
I have seen many a lovely lady making themselves look approximately 78 sizes bigger by trying to cover there waps up so I feel your pain BUT Joan looks SO AWESOME in a high neckline and a nipped in waist I think Christina is her slutty gremlin alter ego that only comes out when fed after midnight or invited to an awards ceremony. I’d also like to say- speaking as someone who has had a close look at your chesticles fiona (I’ve had my face in them on more than one occasion) yours are a) never covered in glitter and tin foil b) never making a leap of freedom from a sweetheart neckline c) playing which nip will peep out 1st.
Natalie
Us gals are a funny sort, eh? Fi, you want yours to be smaller; I wouldn’t mind mine being bigger. And the polo-neck thing is true; even my own humble (to quote Shakira) Bristols looked bloody mahoosive in a clingy high necked sweater today. I think we should all just shuddup and get naked and hug. No, I’m not drunk (I am, and in charge of a website… oops)…