Justin Beiber’s got one. Snooki’s developing one as we speak, and Britney’s got too many to count…
The celebrity perfume – a surefire sign that you’ve truly hit the big time (or made a brief appearance on a reality show once). But does anyone over the age of 14, of normal mental state, not to mention in possession of proper functioning nostrils, actually buy these things? AND WEAR THEM OUT IN PUBLIC? One thing is for sure – if these five celebrities brought out these make-believe fragrances, maybe we’d be more inclined to re-think our judgement of the celebrity-scent parade…
1. Beyonce and Jay-Z’s unborn baby’s fragrance ‘Foetus’
Smells like: destined to be music-industry royalty with accents of placenta.
2. Gwyneth Paltrow’s fragrance ‘Self-Importance’
Smells like: Chris Martin’s hemp underwear, all-natural tofu stew with a hint of disregard for the ‘little people’.
3. Sinitta’s fragrance ‘So Macho – A New Scent for Men’
Smells like: leaf bikinis and Simon Cowell’s arsehole.
4. Jude Law’s fragrance ‘Balding Hobo’
Smells like: Regain for men, the desperation of a fading career and the nanny’s vag.
5. Pippa Middleton’s fragrance ‘Perfection’
Smells like: Fake Bake, sweat collected from the Reformer Pilates machine with the faintest tinge of twattish-ness.
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