Inspired by Texan supermodel Erin Wasson’s guide on ‘How To Please Her‘ over on the fabulous newly launched Mr Porter website (we love it more than Net-a-Porter), although as Poppy pointed out, ‘if a guy dated me in a black t-shirt and black jeans he would never get a date with me again.’
We thought we’d do our very own Le Blow take on how best to impress a lay-dee (with tongue-firmly-in-cheek)…
What makes the perfect date?
I like to be surprised, so turn up without notice on a mid-week afternoon. Bring your Prius, or arrive on foot in hobo trousers; just never ever in a rear-wheel drive Nissan. We should do some light wrestling and if that goes well, an impromptu dinner. I think Nando’s hits the perfect balance between ‘trailer-park carnage’ and ‘starchly formal’. Ideally, you’ll bring your Afghan hound and we’ll all run in slow motion, with knives.
What to buy a lady?
Real ladies can struggle with car maintenance, so it’s always a nice touch to invest in a thorough wheel balancing. I really like the artwork of Les Wang (though not his Mauve period, of course) or a walk on the moon. Buy me something I’ve always wanted, but never knew about. Coincidentally, I’ve just launched my new range of beautiful lady-gifts so please do check out www.youreturningintoyourmother.com.
What should every man own?
Kindling. Some raisins. A badger (never a ferret). Several types of screwdriver. Everything. Nothing. A Bonsai tree, but not the creepy kind.
Note: we’ve inserted a gratuitous shot of Konrad the ASOS model here, as he has (and we quote) ‘built a house by hand‘ *swoon*
– Helen Brown
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