I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. I’ve got a somewhat ‘addictive’ personality and I tend to get obsessed with things for a short, intense period of time just to drop ’em like the proverbial hot patootie and move onto my next Big Thing. Luckily, I haven’t applied this to anything illegal yet, like heroin, dogging or prostitution but it’s only a matter of time, I reckon.

Anyway, regular readers of Le Blow will have no doubt pored over my recent How to… get the polka dot trend spot on article, committing every commandment to memory and waiting for the next instalment of style advice with baited breath. Well, wait no more, fashion fans!

Recently I’ve been wearing more stripes than a WW1 veteran, as they were all over the SS/’11 catwalks (stripes, not retired soldiers, that is). So. Here’s my guide on how to earn your own style stripes this season…

Do not fear the horizontal stripe

Catwalk: the Prada Ready-To-Wear SS/’11 collection…

Sidewalk: the ASOS tube skirt, no longer available, but this one on site is SO Prada-esque it hurts…

Horizontal stripes are where it’s at this season. Prada paved the way at the SS/’11 shows with dresses in thick bands of electric brights. And now that the science boffs have discovered it’s actually vertical stripes wot make you look fat (apparently, it’s all a bit of an optical illusion), we can hoop up our hips in horizontal stripes aplenty.
Tip: avoid black and white else you’ll resemble a zebra crossing.
Another tip: only copy the clothes and not the make-up from the Prada SS/’11 show or you’ll end up looking like this guy:

You have been warned…

Bands of colour

To truly get your SS/’11 stripe on you should ditch the Breton, be brave and go as bold as you can bear. Take your style cue from a child’s rainbow bright xylophone or a retro TV test screen in a never-ending colour mash-up. This is the sort of look that works best on a sunny day and you must be prepared to fully commit by teaming your stripey style of choice with an equally bright separate. Don’t worry, no one thinks you like a kids TV presenter from the ’80s, nuh-uh.

Big stripe, small stripe

Catwalk: the Marc by Marc Jacobs Ready-To-Wear SS/’11 collection…

Sidewalk: variegated stripe dress from Zara

Variegated stripes are deceptive. They may look like the scariest sort of stripe but they are in fact the most flattering if they’re cleverly placed. Ideally, you want the thinner stripes around your waist and the bolder bands around your boobs and hips thus creating the coveted hourglass shape.
Hint: these stripes are not ruddy miracle workers – if you’re shaped like a sack of spuds, you’ll pretty much still look like a sack of spuds, albeit an on trend stripey one. Variegated stripes can simply help you work with what you’ve got, creating curves on skinnier gals and emphasizing existing ones on curvier sorts.

Hello, sailor stripes

If the departure from classic (read: safe) navy and white still seems too daunting, just work your Breton stripes from head-to-toe and accessorize with a pop of colour and a boy in a matching ensemble.

– Natalie Wall