Jo Fuertes-Knight // Vice’s Girl Eats Food presenter and editor of music site, Noisey.
It’s that old adage uttered by galdem across the world (or rather laydays in US rom-coms): food is better than sex.
If you’ve ever sacrificed a lusty chop of beef for bikini time in Beefa, trawled through #cupcakes on Tumblr, or binge-ate your way through a heavy duty bag of Maltesers, ‘cos they’re the ‘lighter way’ to enjoy chocklit (pfft, tell that to my fat ass), then you might relate to the saying AND enjoy Jo-Fuertes-Knight’s weekly hit of food porn over at Vice.com – the resident Nigella-by-way-of-Hackney, Girl Eats Food.
And if it’s soul food over the tangible, edible, mouth-watering kind you’re after then check this – she’s also the editor of Vice’s new music site Noisey which hosts content about people way cooler than you and me, because they can wear snapbacks and hoodies without looking like a tit from Little Mix. It’s all ‘hey Shlomo! Thanks for that mixtape’ and ‘Word A$AP, let’s make a video and talk codeine together’.
Gaawd Jo Fuertes-Knight, we want your job fo sho.
You’ve made many a so-wrong-it’s-right recipe – and sometimes, so wrong-it’s-wrong. Which of your concoctions hasn’t worked out for the best??
It was the lamb covered in mint Aero. My oven packed in first of all – I’m just gnawing on a raw bit of lamb in the picture. And we tried to make a syzzurp pig but we couldn’t get hold of any so the thing was basically filled with Nytol. Not very tasty.
The best recipe was a chicken with a beer can up it’s arse. It not only looked funny, it tasted nice and most of the desserts are fine because you’re not going to get salmonella from it. You can’t die from sweet things, right?
Maybe Sunny Delight, but they still sell that in Costcutters.
Costcutters doesn’t count though, they sell vacuum packed sausages covered in dust.
How do you dream up these unconventional recipe ideas?
There was such a tight turnaround when I started, so each week I just slung something together out of pure desperation and I’ve kind of stuck to that. It’s usually some sort of meat and whatever I have lying around the kitchen.
The red velvet pancake and cream egg sauce worked well – I can’t believe red velvet is just food colouring, for some reason it feels like a wacky invention. Hummingbird Bakery are making a mint off the back of that stuff, fucking frauds!
We just put food colouring in shit and call it a crazy name ‘cos it’s Vice.
Did you grow up watching any cookery shows?
I like eating food, but wasn’t that into cooking. The only TV chef I was massively into was Keith Floyd. He’s the one that used to just pour a bottle of wine into everything.
What’s a typical day like for the editor of Noisey?
I try to get out of bed, fail and work from home. Get told off, have to go in, put some music on and argue about what content to put up on site.
We’re trying to cherry pick and champion UK bass and garage revival, but the US interns are like, ‘What?’ There’s a friendly clash in the office. I like to think we mix the best of the US and the UK.
It’s difficult because I’m trying to find some decent indie music, but there isn’t anything at the moment. Everyone’s talking about Japandroids a lot, but I don’t really get it.
We’ve been following you on Twitter and your tweets are both prolific and hilarious. Is it a big part of your working day?
My Twitter career has really suffered since I got a real job. I don’t have enough time for dick jokes anymore. I mainly use Twitter for stalking rappers like Action Bronson, people who have mental breakdowns on Twitter and then come back totally fine.
Rappers are the best people to interview as well because they don’t have any media training. Apart from that, Diplo’s good and everyone on the Vice desk – if you want an insight into the Vice office, Bruno’s Quotes is a great one to find out what everyone’s saying but he doesn’t attribute them, so we don’t get embarrassed.
As a music journalist, who’s been your worst interview?
I had a really awkward interview with Azealia Banks. It was going really well before I mentioned a rumour I’d heard about her. At that point she went, ‘I fucking hate journalists, you’re all snakes’. I got really paranoid that I’d misquoted her but then I interviewed her for a second time and she was all smiles. She’s just like that.
She was a good interview but it was really uncomfortable. Then again, that’s better than the people who are just really boring and reel off their press releases.
What is your life motto?
Don’t be a dick.