Oscars Red Carpet: we rate the looks (and Gwynnie might cry. AGAIN)

The Oscar frocks: the good, the bad, and the downright ugly (yes, Nicole Kidman, we’re looking directly at you…)

Michelle Williams in Chanel

We can’t tell you how much we love this. Perfectly subtle sixties with the hair and make-up, subtle shimmer and a flattering column shape all make for an immense red carpet look. We love that she brought her bestie, Busy Phillipps, as her date too. Too cute; Dawsons Creek lives.

Our rating: 10/10

Scarlett Johansson in Dolce & Gabana

Sexy and perfectly Scarlett; not everyone’s cup of tea but the girl really does work a bit of Dolce like no other. However, she mostly gets points for the shorter messy do; we LOVE. Predicting a lot of ladies will be taking her pic to the hairdressers this weekend, too.

Our rating: 6/10

Amy Adams in L’Wren Scott

Amy is so beautiful. So is her gorgeous navy sequin column dress, and her fabulous hair. She would have got top marks, if it wasn’t for the odd styling of the necklace over the dress. Next time go for earrings, please!

Our rating: 7/10

Hailee Steinfield in Marchesa

So much better than her Miu Miu outing at the Baftas, this is every girly girl’s dream. And guess what? She only bloody helped design it herself. Well jels. Do you reckon Georgina Chapman will let us do the same?

Our rating: 7/10

Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein

As has been so righteously pointed out – Jennifer did look like she was off Baywatch. Fab figure though, and nice to see someone go for a bit of a modern cut. We like. Just not that much.

Our rating: 6/10

Mila Kunis in Elie Saab

One of the standouts of the evening; lavender is the perfect colour for her, and the lace detailing suits her girly-ness down to a tee. And that cleavage? Wowee. Do they do some sort of cleavage Oscar? Because she would totally win.

Our rating: 9/10

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Haute Couture

Another vision in lavender (with a touch of yellow). Completely original, and it totally works. She doesn’t always get it right, but when she does, boy does she make us proud.

Our rating: 9/10

Anne Hathaway in Vintage Valentino

Pretty obvious but we reckon she didn’t want to upstage any of the nominees, being the sweetie that she is. Or are we wrong, and Rachel Zoe’s baby brain is severely affecting her styling choices?

Our rating: 4/10

Halle Berry in Marchesa

Yeah it’s pretty and all, but come on now, how long have you been doing sparkly nudes on the red carpet? Step out of the box a bit please, Halle.

Our rating: 4/10

Reese Witherspoon in Armani Prive

Two words – Julia Roberts. It’s so Julia Roberts at the 2001 Oscars, right? Did she think we wouldn’t notice, just because it’s 11 years later? Still cute though, we admit. Liking the Sixties ponytail, too. Very I Dream of Jeannie (in a good way, we mean).

Our rating: 6/10

Nicole Kidman in Dior

There are no words. And for once, we mean that in a VERY bad way. Looks like a prom dress.  A terrible one. Shame on you, Nic. Shame on you.

Our rating: 0/10

Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein

We applaud her bravery for doing something different but we’re not feeling it. Hate to say it; but we don’t think our Gwyn is cool enough to pull it off. Kind of reminds us of a slightly rubbish Barbarella costume Le Blow wore to a fancy dress party once. No-one knew who we came as.

Our rating: 2/10

Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang

Jennifer Hudson, take note. This is how you do red for the red carpet. Beautiful structure, great fit, amazing neckline going on. Show that dirtbag Jesse what he’s missing. We love you Sandra, we really, really do.

Our rating: 7/10

Natalie Portman in Rodarte

Gorgeous neckline, obviously a bit of glitz is obligatory if you’re the belle of the ball, but we like that you went subtle on the shimmer. However, it wasn’t the wow factor that we were looking for. We’ll let you off, Nat; you are preggers after all. And for a preggers lady, this ain’t half bad.

Our rating: 6/10

– Fiona Goby

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