It was the Noughties and anything that was inanimate had a logo (or 500) emblazoned across it. Carrie Bradshaw was my style Kween (and probably will always be), and she not only made me covet a pair of Manolo kitten heels (WHY THO) but the pièce de résistance? A Dior saddle bag – I in turn wanted one of those motherfuckas sooooo badly.
Note: you have to understand, my style around this time included satin handkerchief tops, arse-crack revealing boot-cut jeans, denim pedal pushers (!!!), tiny strips of denim as skirts, DENIM WORN WITH DENIM AND A SPLASH OF DENIM, hysterectomy-inducing g-strings (with diamanté ‘string’ for extra chaffing), cleavage-cleavage-cleavage and asymmetric hemlines on EVERYTHING. There literally was no accounting for taste. The noughties made the eighties look super stylish. Noughties fashion was a car crash, and I am so, SO thankful social media didin’t exist so my fashion faux pas largely passed by undocumented.
Here’s Paris Hilton wearing all of the aforementioned trends at once, because she OWNED 2k style, but clock her incred Dior bag if you please:
Because my budget was decidedly more DIRE than DIOR, I opted to get a moody version from a market. I AIN’T PROUD, ALRIGHT?
Part of me wishes I’d kept my illegal accessory as, because I’m really old now, fashion has gone full blaaaady circle and the saddle bag is, er, back in the style saddle once more: Dior resurrected their iconic IT bag at their autumn/winter 2018 show in Paris this week.
Something about it seems oh-so right for right now. But, as per the noughties, I STILL CAN’T AFFORD THE REAL DEAL. Time to head down to Hooky Street…*
*Pls don’t arrest me, it’s a JOKE.