When you think of great style, you probably don’t think of Jersey Shore. Then again, you probably don’t think of Abercrombie & Fitch either, so this whole ‘situation’ (see what we did there?) is probably mildly amusing to you at most – but you’d be wrong. It’s fucking hilarious, but also, very wrong. (By the way, if you do consider the cast of Jersey Shore’s style covetable, or Abercrombie & Fitch for that matter, we need to have a serious talk. It’s not 1999 and you are not a guido. End of.)
Allow me to explain; said situation is this – the Situation, aka the Sitch, aka Mike Sorrentino (er, this could get confusing), undoubtedly one of the most lovable (read: arrogant) stars of MTV’s Jersey Shore has been offered a monetary gift from American label Abercrombie & Fitch to stop wearing their clothes. Yep, really; as in the opposite of what brands usually do. Usually, they’d be sending clothing to celebrities for free. But not Abercrombie & Fitch. They’re all high and mighty about a cheesy reality TV star sporting their wares. Like I said, fucking hilarious, right?
I thought so, at first. This beefed-up, full-of-himself numpty has been served some justice; publicly humiliated by being told that Abercrombie & Fitch don’t want him to be seen in their clothes, because, in their words, it…
“…could cause significant damage to our image… this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans”.
Oh, how I laughed. But then I read that quote again…
Firstly… Er, WHAT? Since WHEN are friggin’ Abercrombie & Fitch an aspirational brand?! Maybe they were, when I was 14 and listened to Summer Girls by LFO religiously on my walkman ( you know the one… “I like girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch”. Aaah. Memories). Maybe they still are to crazy tourist types who queue up for hours in the rain to get in the London store on a Saturday afternoon, but really I think those people just queue up thinking they’re in line for free stuff or an exciting London tour or something, and are bitterly disappointed when they get to the door and realise it’s just a bunch of sulky model-types folding below-average t-shirts that tout above-average prices. So, Abercrombie & Fitch = delusions of grandeur, then. Not unlike the Situation himself. Interesting. A match made in heaven, you might say?
Secondly, what the hell happened to free will? As in, if the Sitch wants to buy clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch, why the hell shouldn’t he?! I mean, did Burberry proffer Daniella Westbrook cash to keep her mitts off their checks years ago? No, they just started making classier clothing, and developed their brand aesthetic so that it attracted the ‘right’ people, rather than the ‘wrong’ people, in their eyes at least. But clearly Abercrombie & Fitch are happy to rest on their shitty laurels, and simple throw some dollar at a man, who, let’s be honest, probably doesn’t need it, since he was the 6th highest paid reality TV star in the world last year. Just as classless as an all-night hot tub drinking sesh at Seaside Heights with Snooki, right?
I suppose, however, that none of us should be surprised by the crassness of all this. I mean, Abercrombie & Fitch is a company who have been accused of discriminating against staff and customers racially, making disabled employees work in the back of store only, should they offend the eyes of their precious clientele, purposely hiring only models as door men/women and firing staff who dared to wear a hijab in accordance with their religious beliefs.
Twats, really.
So, I’ve decided that I feel bad for the Situation. He may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but he’s probably not a bad guy. Abercrombie & Fitch, however, are low-down dirty scoundrels who clearly think they’re above the chav/chavette sector of society. Umm, newsflash, Abercrombie… you’re the brand posterchild for that section of society, whether you like it or not. Deal with it, embrace your inner guido and get fist-pumping, because this is the most publicity you’ve had in a loooonnnnnngggg time. Or was that your plan all along? Just read this quote the Situation gave New York magazine last year:
“Abercrombie & Fitch, their most popular shirt, they told me, is ‘Fitchuation.’ I mean, where did they get that from? Obviously from myself.”
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