London Fashion Week is now in full swing, and if you’ve drawn the conclusion that your glossy invites for the ‘frows of all the hottest shows must have been sent to the wrong address by an incompetent intern , fear not!
As much as fashion prides itself on being, new, exciting and ever-changing there are certain things Le Blow has come to expect every LFW, no matter which season.
Play Fashion Week Bingo with this little lot:
1. OMG it’s Alexa Chung! [replace with any sleb]
Spurious snaps of Alexa Chung camped out in the ‘frow of the coolest shows, and everyone gushing about her outfit (us included).
Further gushing about how London is really where fashion is at and how it’s edgier / younger / more ‘urban’ than it’s global counterparts. Read: less polished.
And just gushing; gushing about everything in general. The fabrication! The construction! The juxtaposition! The… Californication! Gush!
2. Form an orderly queue…
It’s a popular event in England’s capital city, there’s bound to be a queue. In fact, sod that, we queue to buy teeny squares of adhesive paper emblazoned with the Queen’s face in the Post Office for Chrissakes – it’s fucking inevitable.
However, the formations at any fashion week are always much more colourful and interesting than your average lines of oldies-in-beige on Pension Day. And punctuated with street style photographers jostling to get a pic of the girl in the fluro mac with Barbie dolls stapled to her shoulders, clutching a carpet bag with a pug-wearing-sunglasses-that-match-hers inside.
[note: want to have your picture taken at LFW? Wear skyscraper platforms / an outsize bag studded with hardware / dye your hair blue / wear leather / all of these things at once and photographers will be drawn to you like flies to cow-dung]
However, these days live streaming of catwalk shows is so widely available, plus the ones that aren’t are instantaneously documented by bloggers, Tweeters and the like that we at LB have taken to watching the majority of LFW from the comfort of our office/press room/bed room. But don’t tell anyone.
There’s something about watching PPQ in your PJs that’s deliciously ironic – and really makes you wonder why anyone bothers to stand around in a queue at all.
3. Editors Vs Bloggers
We can’t decide which side we’re on, if any. We’re a complex creature ourselves: part blogger, part fashion insider so we’re torn between feeling pleased that fashion has become so accessible – even to the blogger from Bradley taking pics of her latest UGG purchase in her kitchen.
But we also yearn for the days where fashion wasn’t so fucking fast. When you actually wore collections in their rightful season. But we can’t help it: we see Mulberry’s chunky boots for AW/’11 and we WANT. THEM. NOW!
4. Rain. Again.
See point two also. This is England, people! You shouldn’t be surprised when it rains, particularly in September but most definitely in February. For fucks sake. This is where you see true fashion dedication: when the (soggy) wearer-of-a-paper-poncho refuses to pop on a sensible waterproof kagoul for fear of it being deemed SO last season. For shame!
5. Models taking a tumble
People falling over is just a funny thing, isn’t it? Particularly when they’re trussed up to the nines in a mohair jacket, PVC pencil skirt and 26-inch heels. The combination of gravity, vertigo, bunions and weightlessness can often be the catalyst for a fall, and we fucking love it.
Our favourite Bambi-on-ice incident STILL was at Burberry’s SS/’11 show last September. That show combined beautiful clothes with comedy capers – and after all, fashion is ALL about having fun, right?
Mwah, mwah dah-lings!
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