The Academy Awards red carpet is the world’s biggest runway, so here’s a close-up look at the dresses and fashions on display. Let’s see who dazzled in style at the grandest awards ceremony of the year: the 84th Academy Awards, and other gushy, overly dramatic statements that don’t make much sense.
Actually, scratch that. Who’re we kidding? We don’t care! Let’s look at the randoms in the background; it’s much more fun! Here’s our top ten from the Oscars 2012:
Bah. Kelly Osbourne‘s all proud of her trim new bod (but still can’t quite shift the lantern head, eh?); shame all eyes are on Mammy Two Shoes from Tom and Jerry making a rare appearance on the red carpet in her bestest heels: “Thomaaaaaaaaas!”
Ahhh, such eye candy: George Clooney arm-in-arm with his own life-size Academy Award and holy shit! WTF’s that?! A retina-burning VPL – plus, I’ve just remembered that my sofa needs reupholstering, too.
Actress Missi Pyle (er, who?) thinks the spotlight is firmly on her. She’s wrong. We’re all looking at the stray Quality Street with legs Moonwalking behind her. What is it with these background botherers being dressed in blue?
Dear Octavia Spencer finds herself mistakenly on the red carpet at the ‘Vogue-It-Like-Madonna’ Mime Awards 2012. Madge style headset and camp outstretched pinky ESSENTIAL.
Mr Cool Dude behind Milla Jovovich has either a) taken a sneaky up-skirt or down-cleavage shot on his iPhone and is busy Twit-Piccing it around the world OR is b) placing his Ocado order for tomorrow (Milla’s helpfully just reminded him he’s all out of tinfoil).
We always knew Penelope Cruz was a robot and here’s the proof: she’s plugged in (via the arse) and on charge *bleepity bleep ”Ello, my name ees Peneeelope” MALFUNCTION MALFUNCTION*
The Oscars are a time for Hollywood heros past and present. That’s why ET’s also on the red carpet, in an emerald green dress, trying to get a look-in over Gwynnie‘s shoulder: “Elliiiiiiiiot!”
Jesus Christ. It’s DFS Lady AGAIN. We reckon she’s stolen Rooney Mara’s underwear for herself. The twenty-sizes-too-small-kecks might account for the hideous muffin-top bulges all over the shop.
Poor Viola Davis has failed to notice the midget woman in aqua green to her right, or ‘Thing’ from The Addams Family to her left. Either way, she’s facked.
Finally, special mention HAS to go to Brangelina‘s crazy Right Leg. It’s even got it’s own Twitter account: @AngiesRightLeg.
And that’s our in-depth red carpet round-up for this year’s Oscars. You’re welcome.
Comments
Peter Edward
Thanks for the blue lady. She was all over the Red Carpet in the background by Ryan Seacrest during the E! coverage, and even seen on the network pregame show, PLUS the E! after party shots … often, Just walking back and worth looking at the camera. Who is she ? Either part of security OR she knows someone very high up.
Natalie
Right. That’s IT. I demand to know who she is! Mostly so I can offer her some serious style advice. Sheesh.