When your wedding photographer’s Mario Testino, your wedding pictures are bound to be amaze *ahem* Kate Moss *ahem*

Gah. We shudda known it. Even though we secretly hoped Kate Moss’ wedding pictures would include her smoking a sneaky ciggy with Alison Mosshart round the back of the church, or Jamie dancing the Lambada with Nana Moss, complete with tie round his head, the official pics released today are glossy editorial gorge.

To be perfectly honest, Mario Testino could photograph a Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and make it ooze class – and besides, he had the perfect subject matter to shoot: from the quaint country location, to the delightful 1920s style dress designed by none other than John Galliano, through to the 500 adorable bridesmaids (granted, we might have embellished that figure a touch).

Hell, Mario’s that good, he even made Jamie Hince’s craggy face look somewhat attractive (no mean feat; we think he may have used the ol’ Vaseline-smeared-onto-the-lens trick) – but what on earth could the newly weds be discussing in the pic below?

Jamie’s snazzy smoking jacket? What to have for dinner? Maybe Kate’s saying, ‘Oi, Jamie! I’ve got no knickers on under ‘ere!’ in what we imagine to be a raspy Eliza Doolittle-esque voice. Caption competition anyone? Maybe we’ll send a prize to the best answer what makes us do a LOL…

All images by Mario Testino for Vogue

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