As an alternative to “We want Shakin Stevens but will accept Wham”, here is my Hip Hop Christmas playlist…
1. Run DMC: Christmas in Hollis
Top of my list every year. Everything you could ask for in a Christmas song. I think it should be given carol status so it can be blasted out in churches. I hear the acoustics beat any boom box.
2. Kurtis Blow: Christmas Rapping
This assures me that Santa doesn’t slouch around all year watching ‘Cash in the Attic’ in his pants. He’s obviously practising his bad ass dance moves so he can lure in the ladies. A classic flow, you wouldn’t expect anything less from Blow. Great name, too…
3. Atmosphere: If I was Santa Claus
Smooth as a selection box. If I was Santa I would replace that Mariah Carey song with this one. Oh and I’d stop people carrying wheelie suitcases down busy December high streets. Idiots.
4. Ludacris: Ludacrismas
His lyrics crack me up:
Tell him I need a jacket, new Jordans and an X-box. New suits for church and a couple pairs of dress socks
Sweetly interspersed with a twinkly sample of “Here comes Santa Claus”. I wish my pockets jangled like his.
5. Eazy E: Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas
One for the Songs of Praise Christmas Special. Listen to this with your Gran. Then high five her. In the face.
6. LL Cool J: Rock the Bells
Le Blow Loves Cool J. Hands down best percussion on a Christmas track. It was kind of the Baby Cheesus to get borned so I could dance around my room putting glitter on my face and listen to this.
7. Snoop Dogg: Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto
Christmas is tough when you’re poor in the ghetto. What’s that Snoop? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you through your eleventy bazillion dollar bank account which receives additional royalties this time of year thanks to the whole album you pulled together ‘Christmas in the Dogghouse’. If you have kids, that’s a stocking filler right there.
8. Run DMC: Christmas is
This could have been the hip hop version of ‘Feed the World’ and the X-Factor contestants could have made it into a Christmas number 1 medley. Fight poverty. Give up yo doh.
9. Quad City DJs: What you want for Christmas
Wicked crunked up ghetto version of the 12 days of Christmas. Set against festive bells I especially like what the girl has on her list:
$12.000, 11 pairs of shoes, 10 fingernails, 9 packs of weaves, 8 male strippers, 7 bus passes, 6 diamond rings, 5 months free rent! 4 bangles, 3 pocket books, 2 earrings and a man with a lot of money
10. De La Soul: Millie pulled a Pistol on Santa
When Christmas songs are starting to make you hate your ears, here is the antidote. These lyrics tell a deep, dark story that will make you suspicious of all department store Santas.
11. Derek B: Chillin with Santa
If you like a bit of Jingle Bells here it is. A little bit. If you don’t believe in Santa it’s because you weren’t cool enough to meet him and chill out round his. Either that or he hates you.
13. Sweet Tee: Let the Jingle Bells Rock
What you didn’t know Christmas went Hip Hop? Check the clock and let the jingle bells rock
Now you know.
14. Ludacris ft. Nate Dogg: I Got Hoes (In Different Area Codes)
These guys have more ho ho hoes than Santa. Every time I hear this song it gets stuck in my head for days and I go around singing it and pass it to all my friends. It spreads and is hard to get rid of. Like? Like? Glitter. Yes. Glitter.
Have a Hip Hop Happy Christmas. xxx