Nivea signs Euro 96 team mates for skincare ad // Yes, it’s worse than Southgate’s Pizza Hut one…

Some 16 years after Euro 96, I am nearly able to forgive Gareth Southgate for THAT penalty miss against Germany in the semi final I said NEARLY, alright?).

But I’ll never let him off for appearing in that awful Pizza Hut advert alongside fellow shoot-out flops Stuart Pearce and Chris Waddle soon after his EPIC MISS.

If you missed it first time round, here it is.

NOTE: it’s nigh on impossible to find full versions of this ad on the interwebs. Reckon Southgate also made this go MISSING? We do.

This appalling ad literally appeared on our screens mere weeks after Euro 96 had ended, and needless to say, his sense timing – allbeit comic – was still majorly lacking.

But something has popped onto my radar more recently that may well surpass the cringe levels of Gareth and co’s crappy amateur dramatics.

What the bejesus is this?!

For some unknown reason *cough* shit loads of cash monies *cough* a trio of team mates from the Euro ’96 England squad have decided to appear in an ad for Nivea skincare. We’re looking at YOU,  Paul Ince, Les Ferdinand and David Seaman.

Not only this, but they grunt and gurn their way through. It’s bad. Real bad. No one wants to sea Seaman’s sex face. You do? Okay, lookit:

The tedious link is that Nivea are the official grooming sponsors of the England football team. Really? We could think of better ways to promote this. Ones that involve getting hot football players to get their kit off and rub cream all over their naked, tight buttocks. Not bloody Incey grunting his way through the Stoppit and Tidyup theme tune. Meh.

Hmph. Once a loser, always a loser, eh?


*AKA where it is and who the hot players are. The important stuff.

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