We saw Katy Perry’s actual face. And we liked it…

So the marriage of Katy Perry and Russell “have-we-fucked-perchance?” Brand is already in trouble. I’m ‘shocked’ to my very core.

Turns out old Russ posted a photo of Katy sans her glam slap on Twitter, and she’s not best pleased. Who’d have thought it? Katy Perry is still an attractive girl, yet has a fairly ordinary face, just like the vast majority of us! Not that Katy wanted us to know this of course.

Mrs. Brand – a little heads up: those of us with even fairly slow brains already understand the concept of make-up. We know that famous people don’t generally leave the house without a lot of fucking help from an army of stylists, make-up artists, and hairdressers.

Seeing your picture was no big surprise to me, in fact it was quite nice to see your normal face. Sometimes you famous types wear make-up so thick that it obscures your actual features and makes you look a little plastic. I prefer you like this, you look like a girl I’d have a few tequilas with, as opposed to a girl who probably wouldn’t deign to drink in the same establishments I would.

I read that you are now seeking marriage counselling as a result of this. Honestly? Do you really think it’s that much of a serious problem? I’ll bet people out there who are regularly beaten to a pulp by their violent partners will be 100% percent behind the reasons for your marital distress!

I don’t mean for that to sound sarcastic, I’m just putting your terrible situation into perspective here. Is it really so bad? You may look back on this in a few years time and feel a little daft. Yes, you can argue that your face is your fortune, but it isn’t going to hurt your career for us to know the real Katy, far from it. You could turn your husband’s Twitter faux pas into something positive, rather than giving your impressionable fans the idea that to look normal is some sort of crime, or sin.

Or that people won’t like you if you look like a regular human being.

Don’t make such a fuss. You wouldn’t want us to think you’re a vacuous and shallow little madam now would you? Someone who became famous simply for how they look and behave, as it’s patently obvious they have no musical talent whatsoever? Heavens no!

Let it go Katy. I saw your actual face, and I liked it.

– Chrissy

  • Comments

  • avatar

    I reckon it might have something to do with the fact that she looks a bit spotty here, and in the US she’s a spokesperson for Proactiv, a spot-zapping solution. So perhaps she thought she’d get dropped with her skin looking less than perfect. But I do totally agree; it’s all a bit too high maintenance for me, too. x

  • avatar

    Is it me, or does she look a zillion years younger sans slap? Maybe it’s the teenage (dream) spots? 😉

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