The Queen drinking

Get royally rat-arsed with our Royal Wedding Drinking Game!

As you know, here at Le Blow, we do not condone drinking and – oh, okay, you all know that’s bollocks. We’ll just cut to the chase. The Royal Wedding wouldn’t be a proper shin-dig if we didn’t get royally rat-arsed.

All you’ll need to play our drinking game is a group of similarly minded royal wedding watchers gathered around a communal TV screen and plenty of booze. Oh, and a cast iron stomach. Scotch will be required for sporran sightings.

The Queen drinking

The Le Blow Right Royal Knees-up

When the National Anthem is playing, everyone must stand up and drink.

Whenever the union flag appears on screen shout ‘God Save the Queen!’

For any comparisons with Charles and Diana’s wedding, all players must consume 3 fingers/mouthfuls of their drink.

Whenever Prince Phillip is shown on screen everyone must shout ‘bloody foreigners!

For any mention of the Queen Mum, down some gin in her honour. It’s what she would have wanted.

Any shots of a flustered reporter outside the Abbey insisting ‘Catherine will be arriving any minute now‘ – drink until we go ‘back to the studio‘.

Any time Prince Harry appears all players must do the John Cleese ‘Hitler’ walk.

Whenever the commentator waffles on about the history of Westminster Abbey; three fingers of drink to ease the boredom.

If Elton John is spotted the last person to shout ‘Candle in the Wind‘ must down their drink.

If David Beckham is spotted, everyone must shout ‘Golden Balls‘ and kick a pretend football.

Have a swig of Scotch every time bagpipes are heard. And for every man spotted in a kilt.

Down two fingers of drink if:

* the Queen is dressed in yellow. Or baby blue. Or lilac. Or pink.

* the Best Man (Harry) flirts with the Maid of Honour (Kate’s sister Philippa)

* you spot a bad comb-over wafting in the wind or a fascinator resembling road kill.

* someone mentions Kate’s ‘humble upbringing’.

* Middleton arrives at the abbey in pissing rain.

* Middleton wears the queen’s Russian fringe tiara.

* the Queen’s corgis bear the wedding rings to the bride and groom

* Wills or Kate fluff their vows.

* the balcony kiss is with tongues.

And when it’s all over, place your bets on how long this marriage will last…

Natalie Wall

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