Oh hai, hi-tops! // Aren’t you looking all box fresh for S/S’12?

I am possibly the least sportiest girl you’ll find.
Granted, I LOVE watching football and calling the referee a wanker, but usually the only part of my body that runs is my snotty nose.

Funny then, that I should currently be obsessing over hi-tops, eh? And I mean OBSESSED. But not for partaking in sporting activities, oh no. For looking AMAZING in. And this has nothing to do with the forthcoming Olympics, either. Maybe it’s the feeling for all things ’90s but – if you’ll excuse the Zoolander-esque statement – hi-tops just feel so fresh right now.

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a bit sick of painful, pointy, strappy, slutty shoes. See how casually off-duty cool, how ‘of the moment’ Miranda Kerr looks in her Isabel Marant hi-tops here (granted, she could wear a toilet seat atop her head at a jaunty angle and still look good, but you know what I mean):

As a child of the ’80s and growing up in the ’90s, I lived in hi-tops: red suede FILAs, pink and black LA Gears, navy leather Kickers.

It was the decade that gave good hi-top: garish colour combos; chunky soles; multi laces; Velcro straps; phat tongues; tops so high they practically reached the wearer’s knees. Shown off a treat with a slouchy sock. And, if your parents weren’t evil bastards like mine, the soles on your sneakers would have FLASHING LIGHTS.

Fast forward to 2011 and I’d have sold my gran for a pair of Nike’s pretty Liberty print trainers back in April. More recently I was salivating over Miu Miu’s gorgeous glittery kicks. Got me a more affordable pair of sequin Chucks instead – these ones:

However, I’m blaming X Factor winners Little Mix for my recent footwear fixation.

Yes, I know I’m approximately ten trillion years older than even their combined ages, but I’ve found their fun ‘n’ flat footwear choice so refreshing amongst the sea of towering porn star platforms.

So much so that they inspired my request for these silver Nikes from Santa this Christmas – which I’m already wearing with pastel pink skinny jeans and a winter white chunky knit, in an attempt to rock S/S’12 trends now:

Nike Dunk High Skinny Hi Top Trainer, £67 – ASOS

Although, for S/S’12 it’s all about the concealed wedge – and not of the painful bum-munching-knickers variety. I’m not sure how I feel about this. Run DMC wouldn’t have been seen dead tottering about in a towering trainer, right?
And surely built up shoes look a) a bit ‘corrective’ and b) reserved for the likes of Prince, Bono and other miniscule male mega stars?

Illustration: Natalie Hughes, Canned Fashion

But then, Isabel Marant’s chunky Bekket hi-top wedges (yup, Miranda’s ones earlier) are the absolute (sold out) sneaker shit:

Look like you’re all casual and wearing flats when you’re not? YES PLEASE. And Marc by Marc Jacobs, oh my!

I want those rainbow-hued hi-tops on my plates RIGHT NOW! The concealed wedge balances out the ‘clonkiness’ (technical fashion term right there) and makes your legs look long whilst you look… fucking COOL. More realistically, I’m going to have to opt for this more affordable pair by Ash:

Ash Bea Colourblock Wedge Trainers, £169 – ASOS

Or take it back to the old skool with Nike‘s colour popping day-glo pair (no hidden wedges here, mind):

Nike Court Force High Top Trainers, £65 – ASOS

Yup, the ubiquitous hi-top is currently riding HIGH on my favourite flat footwear of choice. The boring ballet pump can fuck right off. And you too, white Converse. Stylish old skool sneakers are TOPPING my list.