It’s Haye Day! Or Fight Night, if you prefer. This is a quick post as I’ve already had to explain tonight’s shenanigans to two gals today – and I thought I’d share this knowledge with you so IF you’re being forced to watch/discuss it you can make out like you know what you’re talking about in front of the lads and impress ’em. Welcome.
The Heavyweight World Title Fight is happening tonight in the massive Imtech Arena in Hamburg (the boxing ring will literally be plonked in the middle of the football stadium) from 8pm BST tonight.
The reason why there’s so much fuss is because it’s the first £30 million fight involving a British Boxer – David Haye. His opponent, Wladimir Klitschko, is built like an absolute shithouse. AND he boasts a masters degree in psychology, as well as one in sports science and he speaks five languages. (And yup, ladies, he’s currently single, having split up with Scream! actress Hayden Panettiere back in March).
Haye, on the other hand is a mouthy Sarf Londoner and has been winding up Klitschko (and his boxer brother Vitali) something chronic with his goading (fighting talk?) over the last two years or so. Haye even donned a T-shirt featuring the chopped-off heads of the Klitscko brothers – he’s a brave, brave (stupid?) man indeed.
So it’s East versus West. Little versus large. Size versus speed. Brains versus er, impressive facial hair? Behold!
Haye // AKA The Hayemaker
Age: 30
Nationality: British (i.e. he’s who we’re supporting)
Titles held: WBA. Er, that’s it, I think.
Height: 6ft 3in
Weight: 15st 2lb
Fist: 11in < but his hands are lightning quick
Klitschko // AKA Dr Steelhammer
Age: 35
Nationality: Ukrainian
Titles held: IBF, IBO, WBO, THE RING. Oh! And IBS, STD, LMAO and WTF.
Height: 6ft 7in
Weight: 17st 4lb
Fist: 13in < blimes! And look out for his famed left jab.
The Le Blow verdict
We want The Hayemaker to win, we really do. But, we wouldn’t wager our mortgage on it. We reckon Klitschko is too big, too strong and too handsome experienced at heavyweight. This is a fight where size really does matter. Having said that, Haye’s speed gives him a fighting (arf!) chance and could try to exhaust Klitschko. And as my mum has just quipped, ‘the larger they are, the harder they fall’. Er, quite.
LB BIG FIGHT VERDICT: KLITSCHKO
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