Stereotyped // The Apprentice

Caroline “The Brand” Jenkins has an impressive ‘re-soo-mey’* and could sell ice to the Eskimos. Her first word wasn’t ‘mummy’, it was ‘money’. Everything she touches turns to SOLD.

Yet she’s not a cliché, oh no. She likes to think outside the box; if she was an apple pie, the apples would be ORANGE.

And she’s no one trick pony. She’s not a ten trick pony. She’s a whole paddock of ponies. She just runs ideas up the flag pole and sees who fucking salutes. ‘Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon!’ she says indignantly.

With her slightly butch tendencies, severe hair and a monobrow to rival Liam Gallagher, she likes to reach out. And touch base. To make sure we’re all on the same page. Y’know: singing from the same hymn sheet.

It’s all about blue sky thinking to provide an end to end solution. But think evolution not revolution though, yeah?

She works well with others cos ‘team work makes the dream work’ *air punch*

Lord Sugar: ‘I hate to break it to you, but the dream ain’t working for me. With the greatest of respect you’ve been a bit of a nightmare, and for that reason: you’re FIRED!’


* résumé

– Words: Natalie Wall // Illustration: Libby Freshwater

  • Comments

  • avatar

    I know 100 plus women that arent on The Apprentice, that are smarter, sassier& clevererer than them donuts on the apprentice, plus they dont have to deal with Gary Neville Lookalikes in some makeshift tv boardroom, – Katy England for starters

    • avatar

      I’d quite like to go on there. i’d give Lord Sugar a run for his money. And if nothing else, at least my outfits would be entertaining? 😉

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