Can we all just STOP talking about body image, please?

According to a survey carried out by US Glamour Magazine, 97% of women will be ‘cruel’ to their body in a day, with an average of 13 brutal thoughts. They think this is terrible. Are you surprised? Disgusted? Ambivalent? Or just desperate for the media to stop shoving this positive body image stuff down your throat, and let you get on with it?

I know I am sick of it. Sick of not being able to open a magazine or newspaper without some generic article on ‘real women’ who should love themselves. A lot of it’s pretty offensive for starters; it seems if you’re skinny, the media doesn’t think you’re a real woman. Even if you are what they call a ‘real woman’ (what does that even mean, anyway?) it feels like the media are constantly telling you to be true to yourself, not to change. But what if you want to change? What if changing would make you happier than you could ever be if you loved yourself the way you are?

Let me get this straight for you; I’m not condoning eating disorders, obesity or anything unhealthy like that. I’m just really bored of magazines telling me to be mad at myself for thinking I need to lose weight. Sometimes you do need to lose weight. Like late last year, when I was put on steroids for medical reasons. I completely ballooned up, and it was frankly a horrible experience. I couldn’t fit into my jeans, I felt frumpy and unattractive. I decided to lose weight, and I did it because I wanted to, not because of what anyone else said. I just wanted to get on with it, and not go on and on about it all the time. However, I honestly felt I had to justify my weight loss plans because the media made me feel guilty for wanting to be thinner.

Obviously I wasn’t striving to be some tiny, weenie sample size, because I’m intelligent enough to know that will never be my body type. But yes, I did need to lose weight, even if every magazine and website out there was telling me I didn’t need to. And some of my friends had been brainwashed by them too! Everyone was telling me I looked fine, just have confidence, love yourself. Well I don’t know about you, but I only feel those things when I feel at a comfortable, healthy weight. I still have a bit of weight to lose, but thankfully I’m on the right track and I feel much better. Funny that, isn’t it? I’m far happier since I’ve made a change in my body, instead of trying to convince myself that I was fine the way I was.

So what’s wrong with hating some parts of your body, sometimes? What’s so terrible about wishing you had smaller thighs or a bigger bust, that you could lose a few pounds or gain a few?  Do you really want to say ridiculous affirmations in the mirror every morning? Convince yourself you look fantastic just because a magazine said so, when deep down you don’t feel completely happy with your appearance?

Let’s face it, insecurities are a fact of life, and to second-guess yourself is human nature. Body insecurities bring us all together; give us something in common when there is nothing else. I can’t recall exactly how many times I’ve lamented my big bust, whilst a smaller chested friend has joked that she wished she could take some of it for herself. It’s almost like a rite of womanhood, to find fault in yourself and compare those faults with others. It’s cathartic, it makes you realise that most women, no matter how beautiful you might find them, still aren’t always happy. Now, call me morbid, but that’s a tad reassuring, no?

So if you well and truly love yourself, then that’s fantastic for you, and you should be proud. But I’m guessing that you probably don’t truly love yourself. Maybe you’ll be spurred on to change the bits you don’t like, like I am, or maybe you’ll just come to live with it, and that’s fine. Maybe you can’t change it even if you wanted to, and that’s fine too. I’m not saying you should hate yourself and want to die, or do anything stupid. But, maybe if your inner voice is really trying to tell you something, you should listen to it. After all, you don’t love your boyfriend/mother/best friend all the time, do you? Come on, admit it… sometimes you downright hate them and they drive you mad. See what I mean? Case closed.

– Fiona Goby

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