The X Factor files!

X Factor Live Shows // Week 7 catch up: Guilty pleasures, Ella gets eliminated and Dermot dons MC Hammer pants

Another week, another X Factor live show. And what a shit show it was. Guilty pleasures (that old chestnut) was this week’s theme officially, but unofficially, the theme was clearly ‘take a famous song and slow it down loads’. Then Sunday night’s results show came, and… SHOCK HORROR! Two (two! TWO!) of the chosen three […]

X Factor Live Shows // Week 4: Careful not to offend Barlow with your fag-ash breath, yeah?

Ah, Halloween-week X Factor. It’s WELL scary. Well, I mean, it’s scary that the damn Liverpudlian Ronseal Wanker is still there. (WHO IS VOTING FOR HIM, AND WHY? Are they all part of a weird nan-loving cult?) What’s also really scary about X Factor this week, is that I’m even still watching the live shows […]

X Factor Live Shows // Week 2: It’s all getting a bit ageist, innit

Greetings from your resident X Factor X-pert! (See what I did there?) I don’t know about you, but if you’re au fait with what’s been going down with Barlow, Walsh, Nicole Shit-singer, Tulisa and Derm this weekend, then you may be experiencing some of the same thoughts as me. These thoughts generally revolve around the […]

X Factor Live Shows // Week 1: Top of the Strops AKA DRAMAAAAAAAAZZZZ!

I’m BAA-AAACK! What? You didn’t think I’d miss the chance to spend approximately ten weeks ripping the piss out of some vocal-run obsessed wannabes, did you? As anyone who read last year’s X Factor round-ups, or indeed follows me on Twitter (shameless plug number one) will know, the X Factor live shows are literally my […]

Britain’s Got Talent Vs The Voice // Bring on the battle of the irrelevant talent shows

Nothing to do on Saturday night? No beer money? No date? No friends? Don’t worry! You’re spoilt for choice on the generic talent show front on Saturday, because both the BBC’s much anticipated (only by the BBC themselves, natch) show The Voice UK launches at the same time as our old beloved friend (the one […]