Relationships The Manifesto

The Manifesto // Girls and their lady gardens: a flourishing bush or pruned clean away?

January 29, 2012
Lady gardens through the ages

The Le Blow Manifesto. We ask our Manel (man + panel, yeah?) for the truth. On important things. Like: girls and their lady gardens – a flourishing bush or pruned clean away?
Hitler tash or ZZ Top beard?
Merkin or mohican?
Our men chat twats (sorry mum) and tell us how much muff is enough…

Lady gardens through the ages

MAN 1 //

On the muff question I’m a bit of a Switzerland. On one hand I’ve never really understood some men’s obsession with shaven havens. After all – if you’re looking to achieve that special feeling that’s like a sneeze (but nicer) a bit of fuzz-on-fuzz friction down below is definitely welcome.

However, that pic of Kate Moss rocking full-on ’70s porn-star pussy plumage makes me feel a bit scared. So, I’m going to fall between two bushes and make a stand for the traditional flying-vee. Neat, tidy and pleasingly symmetrical, it’s the thinking man’s choice cut, or indeed, cunt.


MAN 2 //

Do you want a personal opinion or one for all Mankind? Because I should probably say that I don’t speak for everyone. But I do know that being down there is always better if your ‘lady garden’ (shudders) is well kept. I am not a cat. I don’t like licking hair. Enough said.

Kiss me quick

MAN 3 //

Vintage porn and ’70s Blaxploitation movies have taught me many things including:

1) The term ‘brother’ can never be uttered by a white man
2) Porn star + moustache = exceptional lover (that’s just mathematics)
3) Afros were designed for the head not the crotch. Do ya dig sucka?

70s Afro

MAN 4 //

I really can’t stand a flourishing bush, at all. Maybe if it was the 1970s or I was dating a protestor – I just find it off-putting and impractical. Aesthetics aside, and to be brutally frank, I love oral sex, so it can and does get in the way.

Personally I think it looks far more appealing and hot when a woman is pruned, and I’ve been told that they feel more sensitive and sexy when nice and smooth. I have been with one gal who was hairer than a Greek mother-in-law (she wasn’t Greek) and she refused to maintain and groom, let alone remove.

It’s of course down to preference, but I would struggle to contain my honesty if I was seeing someone with a neglected lady garden.


MAN 5 //

A girl who doesn’t take the time to at least trim up her bush should have her tits lopped off. It’s not on. Even I trim mine and I have a cock and some balls to distract attention from that weird kinky Afro.

Saying that, although a lot of men like girls totally bald, I most certainly do not. Too clinical, too many bad paedo jokes. A strip is best, a little square maybe.

Despite all this, one thing must be said; if you’re getting to the point where you are finding out about the breadth of the bush, the deal has been pretty much sealed. But if it’s massive, we will tell our friends about it. And our friends will laugh.

The Le Blow men have spoken. Now have YOUR say here:


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  • Reply jon January 30, 2012 at 8:47 am

    on reflection, think i prefer your standard “Mouses Ear”everytime.

    • Reply Natalie January 30, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      HA! Mouses Ear. Now that’s a goodun’.

  • Reply Izzy January 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    “A girl who doesn’t take the time to at least trim up her bush should have her tits lopped off” – Really? REALLY?!

    • Reply Natalie January 30, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      That’s quite harsh, eh? Though equally we could do a John Wayne Bobbitt on any fellas with a feral mound? 😉

  • Reply Stevie April 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    Izzy, I was going to take note with exactly the same comment! I’m down for a nice adult chat about lady gardens but bit of a ‘dick move’ eh, Guy 5? Because evidently if a woman can’t keep herself trim she forfeits the right to alll of her woo-parts.

    • Reply Natalie April 9, 2012 at 5:52 pm

      The likelihood is, he ain’t getting any though, right? 😉

  • Reply men are from Mars July 7, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    It looks like The Hollywood is winning. But isn’t that a bit sinister? i mean, seriously: you want NO HAIR? Like a baby???!!!

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