Bad Romance formula

The Manifesto // You like a girl and it’s going well. Where does it all go wrong?

Girls. You know how it is. You go on a date with a guy. You like him and think it’s going great guns. He, on the other hand, has obviously had a change of heart – for whatever reason. Shame he doesn’t tell you, right?

Never fear, the Le Blow Manifesto is here. We put this conundrum to our panel of men (Manel?) to tell us THE TRUTH. be warned, it might hurt…

The Le Blow Manifesto

MAN 1 //

I find that Rohypnol has a lot going for it as a seduction aid. That way you don’t have to hear a girl bang on about her excess baggage (I don’t care about your exes – it’s about me now) or the ticking of their biological clock (we both know you want a baby – but can we talk about something else for the first couple of dates at least?).
A tip for both sexes is only to get as drunk as your opposite number (slightly tipsy girls = hot, totally pissed girls = liability). And if you’re planning on sex back at yours for God’s sake hide any books written by American dating gurus or new age freaks. Not only are they utter horseshit – but it’s like having ‘After sex – I cry uncontrollably’ over your bed in flashing lights.
Bad relationships

MAN 2 //

If I like a girl and it’s going well then chances are I won’t suddenly go off her (short of her doing something stupid like sleeping with someone else).
I think what you’re talking about is something completely different. If a guy has suddenly gone off a girl after it was all ‘going well’ chances are he never saw it as more than a fling. He probably really liked hanging out but as soon as it looked like he would have to commit or get properly involved, he knocked it on the head.
So, perhaps the answer is: you came on a bit strong.
And even if you didn’t, he probably thought that that’s what you were secretly thinking.

MAN 3 //

Two words: HIGH EXPECTATIONS. However, before I get into this, I feel I need to add several disclaimers:
  1. I am aware that the ‘together forever’ gene is not present in every woman and some of you beautiful people are not on a constant mission to find Mr Right.
  2. I am aware that boys too can be guilty of overthinking situations including the most trivial of decisions.
  3. I am aware that choosing ‘high expectations’ may slightly paint me as an egotistical arsehole (I’m not honestly) who in reality has rarely actually experienced this particular pet peeve.
OK… I feel I can carry on now.
The truth of the matter is that I simply don’t like being seen as something I’m perhaps not. If you spot me across a crowded room or in the gym and you think “that beardy fellow is a handsome beast” then I’ll be flattered. If you meet me and think “not only does he have a charm about him, he also has a cracking personality and can make me laugh” then I’ll be happy.
However, if you see me and instantly start to envisage a scene reminiscent of Ghost where we replace a potter’s wheel with a shaving kit and we shave my beardy face clean, a romantic proposal atop a mountain and an amazing big day where I make a grand gesture that makes your old man finally accept me as a son and makes all your friends gush with jealousy…. well then I’m going to be a bit scared.
Well… only if you tell me.
Bad Romance formula

MAN 4 //

I guess this depends on how long you’ve been seeing someone, so this would relate to the very early stages only. For me, it’s how a girl conducts herself when drunk, or knowing her limits bascially.

I’ve been on several dates where the girl has drunk far too much and quickly becomes an incoherent, mumbling mess. You try to slow the pace down, but by then it’s too late. They then start assessing the flaws of their past relationship or end up falling asleep on your shoulder. They could be many reasons why this happens, but I believe we all know our capacity, and unless you’re both really tolerant, just take it easy and have some dignity.

Ooooh! The Le Blow men have spoken. Now have YOUR say here:

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