Well. Last week’s X Fcator was totes emosh. I’ve been wearing black all week to mark the end of our favourite X Factor contestant’s ‘journey’ (as the judges like to say). In fact, I’m still a bit choked up about it, and can’t quite find the words to express how I feel. So instead, I’ll […]
Another week, another X Factor live show. And what a shit show it was. Guilty pleasures (that old chestnut) was this week’s theme officially, but unofficially, the theme was clearly ‘take a famous song and slow it down loads’. Then Sunday night’s results show came, and… SHOCK HORROR! Two (two! TWO!) of the chosen three […]
IT’S TIME. TO DISCUSS. THIS WEEK’S. X FACTOR! If you’re still with me, that is? I can understand we may have lost a few X Factor piss-takers along the way, dropping like flies at the thought of having to sit through yet another poorly performed sing-off, particularly because they all seem to trot out overly […]
Hola my fellow X Factor piss-takers! Yet again I’m a little bit slow on the uptake this week, but I do have (another) excellent excuse, I promise – hearing Rylan’s bizarre fake falsetto during Sunday night’s sing-off sent me into a shock-induced bout of catatonia. Who knew he had that in him?! Anyway, it’s all […]
Ah, Halloween-week X Factor. It’s WELL scary. Well, I mean, it’s scary that the damn Liverpudlian Ronseal Wanker is still there. (WHO IS VOTING FOR HIM, AND WHY? Are they all part of a weird nan-loving cult?) What’s also really scary about X Factor this week, is that I’m even still watching the live shows […]
So, I’m a little bit late on the ol’ X Factor live show roundup this week, but I do have a good reason, honest. Basically, I was all ready and waiting to start writing about this week’s hi-jinks during Sunday evening’s sing-off. Then BORING KYE sang his BORING SURVIVAL SONG and I totally dozed off. […]
Greetings from your resident X Factor X-pert! (See what I did there?) I don’t know about you, but if you’re au fait with what’s been going down with Barlow, Walsh, Nicole Shit-singer, Tulisa and Derm this weekend, then you may be experiencing some of the same thoughts as me. These thoughts generally revolve around the […]
I’m BAA-AAACK! What? You didn’t think I’d miss the chance to spend approximately ten weeks ripping the piss out of some vocal-run obsessed wannabes, did you? As anyone who read last year’s X Factor round-ups, or indeed follows me on Twitter (shameless plug number one) will know, the X Factor live shows are literally my […]
If you’ve been keeping up with the celebrity gossip of late (which I like to think you have, if this post has caught your eye), you’ll no doubt know that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Xenu-obsessed sofa jumper Tom Cruise. Hurray! Joey Potter is free at last! Run as fast as you can, […]
When I think of holy matrimony, committing to your significant other by law and general girly wedding-y-ness, the last thing I think of is reality TV show and Newcastle’s finest, Geordie Shore. In fact, the last thing I think of when it comes to anything other than a ‘slut drop’ (Google it), really bad fake […]
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